As an erotic romance author, I need to make my sex scenes… well, sexy. But there are many times when I have the urge to write comedy sex.
Let’s face it, it would ring true with just about everybody. I defy anyone to claim they have never had something ridiculous happen during sex. From my own experience and that of friends, I have enough stories to fill an encyclopedia. Propelled head-first into a shelf, fallen off the bed, kicked off the rear-view mirror… you name it. One friend decided to drizzle warm brandy across her stomach, only for it to continue downwards and leave her screaming in pain. Another had things dramatically halted when the dog appeared behind them with its cold nose.
In my case, I still hold in reserve the story of my husband’s missing mobile phone, which leapt out of his pocket during a tender moment outdoors on the way back from Scarborough. We eventually found it down a rabbit hole after half an hour of panic at the roadside.
One of these days I will write a proper comedy sex scene. For now, though, I’ll have to stick to the erotic. BDSM-loving billionaires don’t mix well with slapstick humour.