Happy birthday Kharisma Rayne and welcome to her
Birthday Blog Hop!
I'm giving away one eBook copy
of "The Hand He Dealt" to a lucky winner who leaves a comment on
today's post (and your email please)!
***
Every few
days I get emails from various sex toy websites giving details of their new
sale. Often it’s money off, but sometimes it’s new stuff, which is always a
good thing – except for something I’ve recently discovered.
I’m ruined
for toys.
For over a
year I haven’t seen a damn thing that seems new to me. Vibrators that wave,
throb, thrust or, well, vibrate, with rabbit ears and rotating beads and seven
different speeds… I’ve seen them all. G-spot vibes that you can rock onto? Yup,
been there. Licky tongue things? Yes, even the one that runs like a water
wheel. And I’ve no desire to hide a vibrator in my handbag, even if it is very
quiet and shaped like a lipstick.
And, to be
honest, I find myself complaining about the ones I own. This one has a good
action on the shaft but the bunny ears are crap. This one has good ears but the
shaft sounds like a pneumatic drill. That one makes me feel like I’ve given
birth after it’s been going five minutes.
Dildos?
Uh-huh. Adding sparkly bits does not a new dildo make, in my view. Glass ones
do nothing for me, sadly. Everywhere seems to be streamlining the designs
without actually doing anything new. I really don’t care if something looks a
bit curvier if it doesn’t do anything entertaining.
So I find
myself moving on to things like love eggs, pumps and the For Him range in the
hope of finding something interesting. I haven’t had much luck with For Him to
be frank. I’m reliably informed that the Monkey Spanker would serve equally
well as a cheap circumcision. And despite what we all hear about the wonder of
the prostate, not every man gets off on having things stuck up his bottom.
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