Happy birthday Kharisma Rayne and welcome to her Birthday Blog Hop!
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Every few days I get emails from various sex toy websites giving details of their new sale. Often it’s money off, but sometimes it’s new stuff, which is always a good thing – except for something I’ve recently discovered.
I’m ruined for toys.
For over a year I haven’t seen a damn thing that seems new to me. Vibrators that wave, throb, thrust or, well, vibrate, with rabbit ears and rotating beads and seven different speeds… I’ve seen them all. G-spot vibes that you can rock onto? Yup, been there. Licky tongue things? Yes, even the one that runs like a water wheel. And I’ve no desire to hide a vibrator in my handbag, even if it is very quiet and shaped like a lipstick.
And, to be honest, I find myself complaining about the ones I own. This one has a good action on the shaft but the bunny ears are crap. This one has good ears but the shaft sounds like a pneumatic drill. That one makes me feel like I’ve given birth after it’s been going five minutes.
Dildos? Uh-huh. Adding sparkly bits does not a new dildo make, in my view. Glass ones do nothing for me, sadly. Everywhere seems to be streamlining the designs without actually doing anything new. I really don’t care if something looks a bit curvier if it doesn’t do anything entertaining.
So I find myself moving on to things like love eggs, pumps and the For Him range in the hope of finding something interesting. I haven’t had much luck with For Him to be frank. I’m reliably informed that the Monkey Spanker would serve equally well as a cheap circumcision. And despite what we all hear about the wonder of the prostate, not every man gets off on having things stuck up his bottom.
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